Cause “Me” Time is a Mommy Cuss Word
I don’t have much experience with haters. I hear a lot of women talking about their “haters”. I’ve read the quotes that state that “If you don’t have haters then you’re not doing something right” and all I can think to myself is “I think I’m doing something right, but I don’t know of anyone hating on me.”
See, I love women, girls, ladies! I’m a huge proponent of Girl Power! Boys still have cooties to me and I don’t befriend them unless they workout because honestly, what would we talk about!?!? I.LOVE.GIRLS.
So that’s what I surround myself with. Positive women who lift one another up and cheer each other on. My closest friends? All dimes (if I do say so myself) really smart, really beautiful, really successful women. And when we get together we don’t gossip about others. We just sit around discussing each other’s awesomeness! One big estrogen filled love-fest!!!
Well today, today I’m pretty sure I encountered a hater.
I was leaving work to go and teach Fierce Funk Fitness (if you don’t know, you better ask somebody). I had changed prior to leaving to avoid having to lug my gym clothes up the multiple stairs at the Old Berkeley Cultural Center. I got into the elevator with two women and one of them turns to me and says:
“So you run, you bodybuild, when do you have time to be a mother?”
Let’s stop right here.
Anyone that knows me and knows me well is cringing right now. My husband often refers to me as a pitbull. Drake’s song “0-100” LITERALLY was written about me. Or the former me I like to say. I am either the happiest person or… I’m not. So when this woman said this to me and implied that I could be lacking in the area of motherhood it took ALL of my willpower to tell that inner pitbull to “sit”.
My reply? “She’s my first priority”
Ignorant woman: “Well most mothers don’t look like you”
Me: “Well I rise at 4am” * Walks out of elevator*
Ignorant woman: “Oh Jesus, I couldn’t do that!’
Here’s the thing. My little girl will turn 3 at the end of June so in no way am I an expert. But something that all mothers do very naturally and from day one is put themselves LAST on their “To Do” list. Everyone and everything comes before us. And not only do we do it naturally but society reinforces it, promotes it! If you’re not a tired, overweight, disheveled mess then OBVIOUSLY you’re neglecting your child! And don’t be sexy and self-confident! Because moms are not sexual beings and our children were brought to us by the stork!! The more of a hot mess your appearance is, the more positive the perception of you as a mother.
I could list out my daily schedule and how it often includes ridiculously early mornings AND late nights. I could talk about my packed weekends with my little one while my hubby works during most of them. But it’s all beside the point. I learnt very early on in my Mommy journey that if I was going to be a great Mom and Wife then I was going to have to carve out “me” time SOMEWHERE. When I’m pounding the pavement at 4:30/5:00 am, I have no one and nothing to focus on but myself. When my hubby and baby wake up at 7, I’m dressed and their bags are packed and I’m ready to give myself fully to them, my career and any other obligations.
I truly believe that this is why F3 is so popular. For one hour during the week, a bunch of Women, Mothers and Wives focus on just themselves. We party together, laugh together, reconnect with our inner sexy and let loose!!! It’s therapy!!!
So come on Wives, Girlfriends and Mothers! Please don’t forget that your happiness and health is just as important as all of those people that depend on you! And I promise you, taking that little bit of time for you will make a world of a difference in how you navigate all of the other responsibilities you hold!